Because I'm too lazy to recount this in a more manageable, blog-friendly format, you get the raw IM-age.
(03:45:57 PM) me: [blah blah... basically, I mention I'm heading out for gas]
(03:57:26 PM) Cat: aww
(03:57:26 PM) me <AUTO-REPLY> : queueing for petrol, chap
(03:57:28 PM) Cat: keep safe!
(03:57:49 PM) me: :)
(03:59:44 PM) Cat: queueing for gas still?
(06:30:20 PM) me: oh, no
(06:30:23 PM) me: well
(06:30:27 PM) me: when you IMed me that, I was
(06:30:43 PM) me: err, perhaps.
(06:31:56 PM) me: so I went and got gas and sat in line for 20-some minutes
(06:32:12 PM) me: which wasn't all that bad because I had the good sense to bring my Nintendo DS with me :D
(06:32:35 PM) me: so I get to the pump and I start fdslkjgnlkfdnelskrhnserlkhn panicking because I couldn't find my wallet
(06:32:56 PM) me: I call work and ask Mary if she could check my cubicle and she says it's not there
(06:33:05 PM) Cat: *gasp*
(06:33:07 PM) Cat: where was it?
(06:33:07 PM) me: and I'm going apeshit (sort of) looking for it
(06:33:10 PM) Cat: right
(06:33:14 PM) me: so I give up and I'm about to leave
(06:33:26 PM) me: I go to put my hand on the inside door handle to close it
(06:33:33 PM) me: and I had wedged it in there
(06:33:37 PM) Cat: whew
(06:33:38 PM) me: yeah
(06:33:43 PM) me: oh yeah, but get this
(06:33:45 PM) Cat: i freaked out and thought i'd left my laptop on my roof
(06:33:50 PM) me: :P
(06:33:51 PM) Cat: but it was in my trunk
(06:33:51 PM) me: errr
(06:33:53 PM) me: wrong face
(06:33:54 PM) me: :O
(06:33:56 PM) Cat: no, i'm being serious
(06:33:56 PM) Cat: yeah
(06:33:59 PM) me: muscle memory :)
(06:34:02 PM) Cat: scared the hell out of me on the way back from class
(06:34:04 PM) Cat: LOL
(06:36:15 PM) me: I enter the mall the normal way and drive up to the station and find I have to go around the block the other way
(06:36:21 PM) me: so I'm going around the other way
(06:36:22 PM) me: driving
(06:36:35 PM) me: and there's this LOUD fucking bang RIGHT NEXT TO ME
(06:36:50 PM) me: I mean, make-your-ears-ring-for-minutes loud
(06:37:09 PM) me: momentary-deafness-loud
(06:37:37 PM) Cat: whoa
(06:37:41 PM) Cat: what from?
(06:37:42 PM) me: and I feel this warmth down the right side ass of my pants
(06:37:46 PM) me: not pee, mind you
(06:37:52 PM) Cat: coke?
(06:37:53 PM) me: cuz that would come from somewhere else
(06:37:56 PM) me: EXACTLY
(06:37:56 PM) Cat: lmao
(06:38:00 PM) Cat: damn, that sucks
(06:38:09 PM) me: my smart ass left one in since the night before
(06:38:10 PM) me: IDK?
(06:38:11 PM) me: err
(06:38:12 PM) me: lol
(06:38:16 PM) me: muscle memory again
(06:38:18 PM) me: *IKR
(06:38:19 PM) me: ?
(06:38:21 PM) Cat: HA
(06:38:40 PM) me: yeah, so that sucked much ass too
(06:38:50 PM) me: and startled the shit out of me, naturally!
(06:38:53 PM) Cat: ha!
(06:38:54 PM) Cat: i bet
(06:39:01 PM) me: I mean, I recoiled and everything
(06:39:03 PM) Cat: "hmm, what was that bang and this warm wet feeling on my ass
(06:39:05 PM) Cat: lol
(06:39:08 PM) Cat: err, leg
(06:39:13 PM) me: WHILE I WAS DRIVING ON tHis MAin FUCKiNG strEEEt
(06:39:19 PM) Cat: ha
(06:39:24 PM) me: fortunately, no other cars were really close
(06:39:26 PM) me: but anyhow
(06:39:28 PM) me: that sucked
(06:39:31 PM) me: then was the gas
(06:39:32 PM) Cat: i bet!
(06:39:35 PM) me: then I braved Publix
(06:39:38 PM) Cat: aww
(06:39:41 PM) Cat: all wet?
(06:39:45 PM) me: just a little
(06:39:50 PM) me: most of it dried pretty quickly
(06:39:54 PM) me: or soaked into my seat
(06:40:31 PM) me: and of course, at publix, the water cupboard was bare
(06:40:39 PM) me: as was the ice, but I mainly wanted water
(06:40:47 PM) me: so I ended up buying $40 in assorted vittles
(06:40:54 PM) me: a word I don't get to use nearly enough
(06:40:59 PM) me: or maybe -- just don't think to!
(06:41:12 PM) Cat: indeed!
(06:41:13 PM) Cat: vittles for all!
(06:41:19 PM) me: and all for vittles!
(06:41:27 PM) Cat: vittles are vital!
(06:41:37 PM) me: millions of vittles! vittles for me!
(06:41:44 PM) Cat: vittles come from a can
(06:41:48 PM) Cat: they were put there by a man
(06:42:09 PM) me: damn that man, for the times I don't have a canopener handy
(06:42:26 PM) Cat: that's okay
(06:42:31 PM) Cat: i hear they're coming in bags sometimes
(06:42:35 PM) me: more worried about freshness over conveneience...
(06:42:46 PM) me: (or a word spelled somewhat like that)
(06:42:50 PM) Cat: lol
(06:42:54 PM) Cat: ya, exactly
(06:43:12 PM) me: I, for one, welcome our bagged-vittle overlords
(06:43:24 PM) Cat: i, for two, do as well
(06:43:31 PM) me: hooah!